Friday, May 18, 2007
Life of Innocence once more
How I wish I could turn back time and be young, free from the world.
How I wish I could be satisfied with my life and people around me.
Free from emotions I want to be. It just sucks to have a roller-coaster of emotions.
Free to roam around and not care how I would affect other people...
It's happening again..
Depression has set in..I don't feel like eating. It's been 2 days. I'm not on a freaking diet. My heart feels so heavy..I don't even care if my friends look at me and know that there must be something happening to me..or hug me and ask if i'm okie..
Lack of self-confidence. And I can't do anything about it. But somehow I have to deal with it. Insecurity. Unmotivated. Suicidal thoughts (I know that's it's stupid and so many pple are going to come and talk to me now). Staring into blank space when I'm driving.
Went to Cirque du Soleil yesterday. It was awesome. It was spectacular. Performers were amazing. Costumes were out of this world. Music and voices were heavenly. But I knew that I did not have an enjoyable experience.
Perhaps one day things will be back to normal. I will feel like a child again. That perhaps I could walk the streets and smile to myself just because I was happy.
Or maybe, I just need to let go, move on. Go home. To Singapore, where my parents are. Where my girlfriends are. Where I know that when I'm home, nothing is impossible. Home is where I can have memories, good and bad, yet overcome the bad and still live a fulfilling live..and move on.
How I wish of a life of Innocence once more..
Ness dream on 1:00 AM
7 [comment]
***
Ness
Female
20
21st Nov 1985
scorpio
Australia, Melbourne
Student @ Melbourne University
loves my baby, lil knuckles, flareians, dancing, singing
hates hypocrites...(but i forgive easily..)
nessa21@gmail.com
::am
::amanda
::caleb
::cindy
::derrick
::flare dance
::grace
::hendry
::ian baby
::jel
::joon
::junni
::kel
::kenny
::lee-ean
::mandi
::ning
::serene
::shar
::shawna
::vee
::xiaoyun
::credits::
design:
catchastar.blogspot.com
please visit my:
forum
::Tag Board::