Friday, October 21, 2005
Things are different.
I don't want to face them, cuz I know it'll hurt
Why am I always getting hurt
What have I done to deserve feeling this way?
How come it follows me where ever I go, even when I'm in a different continent.
When will I finally get the pure goodness that I think I deserve?
Who will save me from the ungulfing flames of depression and pain.
Where in my life will it end?
Do I really want all these?
Will I feel like I used to?
I just need to be away from home, I need to be in the company of crowds
where my mask can be seen and hopefully I'll be able to be taken over by the mask and that I will be what I believe I want myself to be.
Looking back, I really question lots of things.
Was what written, said, shown, done true
Were they out of the pure honesty of one's heart and soul.
Or were they just the spur of the moment.
I know I'm understanding, supportive..everything but anything to make myself happy.
But I know that I want to be happy
I don't want to fall into the web of depression again, unable to eat for days, unable to put a smile on for anyone. making everyone around me just worry.
I've had enough. If not being myself is what will make me happy. I think I just might not be myself anymore.
I just want to close my eyes...and fall into a very very...deep sleep...never to wake up again..
Ness dream on 2:42 PM
5 [comment]
***
Ness
Female
20
21st Nov 1985
scorpio
Australia, Melbourne
Student @ Melbourne University
loves my baby, lil knuckles, flareians, dancing, singing
hates hypocrites...(but i forgive easily..)
nessa21@gmail.com
::am
::amanda
::caleb
::cindy
::derrick
::flare dance
::grace
::hendry
::ian baby
::jel
::joon
::junni
::kel
::kenny
::lee-ean
::mandi
::ning
::serene
::shar
::shawna
::vee
::xiaoyun
::credits::
design:
catchastar.blogspot.com
please visit my:
forum
::Tag Board::