Friday, August 26, 2005
I sense a cold thick mist falling on me
I have no where to hide
It seems like something is out of place
you know the feeling when the picture on the wall is just slanted
and u have to shift it straight ?
I'm feeling this way now,
only thing is the picture is straight,
the picture looks great,
the frame is fabulous!
So what's missing?
Here in my little corner
I ponder on things in life.
I once had something
I once owned something
I once was something
I once felt something
But yet it was all 'had', 'owned', 'was', and 'felt'.
Things in the past can never be gained back.
why look back when all I have in front of me is just nice?
Cuz this is called reflection.
why have a face in the front of your head and not at the back?
Cuz you'r supposed to look front not back.
but yes this is all reflection.
Is it true that everything is transient?
Nothing lasts forever.
Not even humanly love.
I once felt that before
but it never lasted.
Godly love is what I need.
Yet it's what we always say.
But really we do not humanly love
Cuz it's there in our faces
for us to readily feel and touch.
I really wish that I was not a young
(okie maybe not anymore....)
active, emotional, part-of-this-world female teenager.
Where sometimes in our minds are this cute guy this or that hot guy that.
Because everything is transient.
Nothing lasts forever.
How depressing is this
as I read on and on about what I'm typing.
If it doesn't make sense to you just as yet
It will soon enough.
My time here in Aust is long and lonekly. Thing with overseas studies is that your friends made from different countries will sooner or later go home. Not only that, the close bonds that are formed which you have a separation anxiety from, will have to depart from us soon. (not later..but soon)
It is very depressing to think that in my 5 years of education here in Melbourne, already now it's my 2nd year and most of my close friends will be gone by the end of the year. And I'm left thinking how I'm going to survive the rest of my years of education. I'm sure I will make new friends. But just thinking about it is depressing. Some people who have just started their 1st yr this year will be graduating and going home even before I do. Yes, that is depressing.
Somehow, this is life.
We live to learn.
Everything is transient.
Nothing lasts forever.
I know I've drifted off talking about something else
I know I've side-tracked.
But there are too many things on my mind.
They just flow out.
I want to go to a proper ball.
Where I get pretty, made-up and ready for a blast.
To be picked up in a limo by a tall, handsome, basically dreamy guy
sweeping me off my feet with his oh-so stunning black suit and tie.
Then presenting me with a beautiful corsage
only to take me to the best balls I've ever been to in my entire life.
(yet, I think would be my ONLY ball in my entire life)
To dance song after song
drifting into fairytale land
Even when the clock strucks 12
I will still be dancing in my pretty flowy dress, flattering me in everyway.
To be admired with envy eyes by both girls and guys
Yes,
I just want to be a princess.
Like I've always wanted.
A fairytale story.... An American dream
(to be continued)
I know, It's all a dream
Just let me dream already
It's all so depressing anyways.
Ness dream on 1:32 AM
0 [comment]
***
Ness
Female
20
21st Nov 1985
scorpio
Australia, Melbourne
Student @ Melbourne University
loves my baby, lil knuckles, flareians, dancing, singing
hates hypocrites...(but i forgive easily..)
nessa21@gmail.com
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